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Cheddar Cheese Charlie
About 'Cheddar Cheese Charlie' Charlie Rumsfelt, as he was previously known as, prior to his time at the The Mansion of Delights was a 38 year old man who simply LOVED cheese. As seen in the photo, taken in Africa when Charlie was on a tour with his company, before his bizarre transformation he was always using cheese in his daily routine; He'd eat it for breakfast, go to his job at a processed cheese factory, eat cheese for lunch, then go to 'fine' cheese parties. Charlie couldn't get enough of the stuff, and this is what led him down the road of ruin. The day Charlie woke up in the Mansion was the day after he violently murdered his whole family. Without sounding too cheesy, and going for the newspaper's usual way of using puns, this statement will simply be the facts; all truth. Every thing was normal for Charlie, on September 19th, 2012. He had woken up, eaten his cheese on toast, and then prepared his lunch for the day (chunks of goats cheese with salad and crusty bread). He kissed his wife on the lips before moving to his four year old son, and told him Daddy loves you! before jetting out the door towards his much-loved job. As he arrived at work, he was greeted with horrible news. The cheese factory he worked in was closing down, a year from that date and so Charlie would be jobless by Christmas. He thought about what his family would say; they would be devastated as Charlie was the main source of income for the family. Something had to change. Charlie had a crazy, but great idea. Why rely on cows to produce milk, for using to make cheese when he could become a cheese-producer himself? He originally discarded the idea for a minute, while biting into his chunks of goats cheese on his lunch break. However, due to his knowledge of cheese, as well as his skill in the human body that he learnt at university, Charlie knew he could turn the company around and make them millions. He worked his job in the day, and then turned his attention to his 'experiment' late at night. His wife and child did not know, as he thought they would shun him if they ever found out. Charlie had been injecting liquidized Edam into his veins for two weeks until he saw results. At first, he felt fine. Then he felt very sluggish for a few days, before upping the dosage. At the end of the two week period, his skin had turned a pasty-yellow color and his wife demanded to know what was going on. After a row, they were about to initiate make up sex. This is when things turned horrible. What the fuck is that!? Charlie's wife screamed, while staring at his back. After looking in the mirror, Charlie saw bits of skin hanging off his back, much like thin grates of cheese and the shock didn't end there. They both then smelt something foul, and attention turned to Charlie's penis. You still love me, right babe? Charlie pleaded. His wife looked at him in disgust, as brie-looking matter dripped from his penis head and onto the floor, making an impressive puddle sized blob in about two minutes. His actual penis had turned into what can only be described as a cheesestring (pre-peeling). It was wobbly, longer and very rubber-like. Charlie was in tears by this point, and he knew that his experiment had failed miserably. He was still going to lose his job, and his family. Ah, his family. After multiple screams and Charlie's wife calling him a sick fucking twisted freak, Charlie murdered his wife in cold blood. He sat on her face, naked still, with his now-tangy smelling bum hole over her mouth and nose area. His horrifically disfigured penis drooped down into one of her eyes, and the rotten smell of the cottage-cheese looking substance filled the room, while also gently plopping onto her face. She was throwing up profusely and this is when Charlie grabbed some nail scissors from the side counter and stabbed his wife 73 times in the head with them. The floor had then taken to a red/yellowish color, due to the blood and all the cheesy liquids chugging out from Charlie's body. He came to terms with what he had done, and then went to leave the house. He realized his child would be taken into care, without a mother or father and this hurt Charlie inside. His last act of mayhem was burning his house down, with his child still inside. Charlie had to come to the Mansion. We initially declined his request to join, as on walking through the doors, Rich almost threw up everywhere due to the smell. Barry was standing behind Charlie the whole time, mopping up any bits of cheese and secretion that he left behind. Charlie was only wearing his boxers and a tank top. His bare feet let off a brie-like smell and bits of toenail flaked off as he walked, due to him literally turning into a block of cheese. We had to get him in a room quickly, else the whole Mansion would be covered in cheese! As Charlie was escorted to his room, he let out a satisfied aaah as he knew his crimes in the real world would never have to be paid by him. He walked over to the toilet, dropped his pants, and had the most satisfying wee ever. His urine had turned completely sour, now literally oozing out of his penis and stringing all the way down to the toilet bottom (still being connected to his penis head). Charlie now spends his time in room #90. This room has been fortified by his strong stench, which can now kill a human if they are not wearing a gas mask. Charlie gets lonely, so we send Barry in once a week to talk to him for five minutes. After the chat, Barry is seen throwing up profusely in his bucket.